Pitmuck Declares Independence

Pitmuck, Trammel, Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – October 3, 2015 – by Ashlynn – The goblins stepped up their rhetoric this week by announcing that the island of Pitmuck is no longer a part of the Kingdom of Britannia.

20151003declarashunFollowing in the wake of the chaotic events at last week’s council meeting, the goblins quickly convened what amounts to a council of  their own and voted on whether to become an independent “goblin nation”. What form this state is to take and how it is ruled was not amongst the details discussed – merely the existence of such an entity.

It should come as no surprise that the result was a foregone conclusion and Icky Rotblossom – scribe for the newborn nation on account of the fact she is the only goblin that can actually read and write – quickly distributed a document it seemed she had prepared in advance that read as follows:

Declarashun ub Freedum

by Da Free Goblins

Wee da free Goblins ub dis fare land hearbye declaires dat wees bees frees foreber mores. Wees declaires dat dat iland ub Pitmuck bees da hart en capatal ub da free en indapendunt Goblin Kingdum. Inz addashun, sense da Blackthorny guy hab banded usins frum himz citie ub Britan wee hearbye gib notace dat wee Goblins dont konsidar himz too bees arr King eber agin. Wees gib himz fare notace dat himz [da Blackthorny guy] bees banded en tern frum da bootifuls iland ub Pitmuck, ware usins willz mak arr owns rulez en lawz frum dis daye forwerds.

The King is yet to respond to this so-called declaration but it would appear the goblins are anticipating violence. On my trip to Pitmuck earlier today I saw what can only be described as a military buildup on the island. Dozens of mercenaries from other islands were present and I was informed by their Captain, a man by the name of Gunther Thayle, that they had recently been hired to defend the island from any attack by Royalist forces.

20151003shipAnd it is not just soldiers the goblins have been hiring. I spotted several heavily armed vessels moored off the coast including one that bore the familiar name the “Bloody Hand of Fate”. I can only assume that most legitimate captains are staying as far away from this whole mess as possible and the goblins have been forced to turn to privateers to fill out their numbers instead.

Still it gets even more disturbing. Shortly before I left for the mainland I met with an Alchemist from Umbra who refused to divulge her name but did inform me of why she was on the island. The goblins have been seeking a way to breed stronger “super goblins” that are as large as an ogre – if more stupid – to act as guardians of the island should the Royal Guard come visiting. The alchemist told me creating strange mutations of existing creatures through alchemy was her specialty and she had already been partially successful.

It is clear by this investment in men and material that the goblins are taking this whole thing very seriously. Should the King actually send an expeditionary force to crush the upstart nation he could well find heavily armed defenders waiting for him.

About Ashlynn

I play with movable type on behalf of the PaxLair Times. I sometimes move the little wooden letters around to create something resembling an article. And I come and go like the wind.
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