Realm News – Volume 5, Issue 1

realmnewsbannerv5-1The PaxLair Press, Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – February 10, 2014 – by Ashlynn – The new year has been a busy one thus far with the PaxLair Anniversary dominating january and all manner of interesting occurrences from great escapes to goblin rescues filling the past few weeks. And there is still more to come!

This also marks the beginning of the fifth volume of Random Realm News Roundup – a sort of lazy attempt to consolidate most reports into a single somewhat regular article. So that is an event too!


20140210reginahuntAt the most recent Royal Council Meeting proceedings were interrupted by the appearance of a Vesper guardsman who rushed in to inform Governor Ivy that Regina Storm – a women accused of theft and murder – had escaped custody. Shortly after delivering the news the poor guardsman was unexpectedly cut down by a crossbow bolt from the shadows in full view of the King and attending nobles.

Suspecting Regina Storm to be involved Governor Ivy asked for volunteers to aid her in investigating the matter personally yesterday evening, to which a dozen or so helpful souls responded. We quickly began, starting at the guardhouse she was being held where I discovered one of the guards in charge was actually a goblin. It should hardly come as a shock that a prisoner can escape when a goblin is left in charge of the gaol.

Questioning the goblin revealed clues that led us first to Buccaneers Den, and then to the orcish fortress near Cove where we caught up with Regina. Unfortunately she already had a ship prepared and managed to escape our grasp. Yet we found a link to Trinsic and headed there next, running in to an old associate of hers called Caleb who – with some “encouragement” – gave us the key to where she would be headed next.

Following a coded map we finally caught up with Regina just outside of Vesper and chased her down. I must admit that perhaps some of our group were a little overzealous and the woman met a grisly end by both blade and spell, ending her career as a thief and murderer, and saving us all the trouble of a lengthy trial.

In the aftermath of events we discovered potential links to a deeper criminal conspiracy though investigations are currently in their infancy and Governor Ivy did not require any further assistance for the time being. I am curious what secrets Regina took to the grave with her however.


20140210exo1It is well know that a sort of Avatar of the terrible being known as Exodus can be summoned through the proper rites and fought in the ruined halls and streets of Ver Lor Reg. Why aspiring warriors would willingly do this exactly is a matter for debate but some say that doing so weakens the power of Exodus.

The past week saw the alliance do just that, assembling a band of almost thirty volunteers – and their associated animal companions – to take up the sword. While preparations took over half an hour, the group eventually made it’s way to the Shrine of Justice to perform the extremely strange – and somewhat profane may I add – ritual required for the summoning.

Preparations took forty minutes yet defeating the creature took only four, such was the overwhelming might we were able to bring to bear. We left victorious, some winning trinkets in the process. Unfortunately we were left without enough materials to perform another ritual and moved on to other things for the rest of the evening.

Still we can at least claim to have done our bit in keeping the power of Exodus at bay.


Infamous goblin Ozog who had been kidnapped by orcs over a month ago was finally rescued by a valiant band who were clearly feeling far more charitable than even the most devout follower of the virtues.

The goblin was eventually discovered in the depths of Wisp dungeon in the lands of Ilshenar. Guarded by an elaborate maze of confusing teleporters, the rescuers worked hard to figure out the puzzle and eventually return Ozog to Britannia where he is free to cause further chaos. Which is somewhat fitting considering King Blackthorn is on the throne.


20140210dogthing1Vesper has been a busy place of late with the Governor attempting to make her mark on the city. The latest problem to be addressed by Governor Ivy was the large stray dog population in the city for which she brought in outside help. Admittedly I can’t help but think that the recent spat with Governor Phoenix of the treatment of canines in the City of Trinsic was her main motivation for the project, but it seems Ivy was determined to have the strays in her city taken in at the local sanctuary.

As an incentive the Governor instituted a points system with prizes for the highest scorers. Bringing in more strays meant more points. Lord Couch was eventually the winner bringing in a large number of exotic dogs. Lady Hawk brought in a number of hunting dogs to claim second, while Falbala came third for her contribution.

It should be added that one goblin attempted to claim I had killed a dog it was bringing in, but the creature’s so called dog was a fake construction made of fur, willow, and paper mache.


Commander Gwen of the Royal Guard and a band of skilled volunteers set an ambush for the bandit known as Tyrius Zool a few weeks ago in the hope of apprehending him and discovering just what exactly his sinister plans were.

The Commander had word that Zool would be taking the main road between Vesper and Yew and had asked for volunteers to act has scouts for which I myself volunteered. The ambush was mostly successful and Zool was spotted with a mechanical construct in tow.

Unfortunately the bandit managed to flee to the area near the prison of Wrong, keeping the royal volunteers at bay with a band of ogre allies. Still we were able to disable the constructs – which were modified for mining or tunneling – though we still do not know what their true purpose was.


Lord Tehan of Yew recently held a talent contest called Yew-a-palooza where many came along to sing, dance, and recite poetry. Sadly I don’t remember much from that night due to the copious amounts of alcohol present.

Trinsic also held a fishing competition under at the orders of Governor Phoenix. Sadly I was not present as other business called me away but I hear there are more to come in the future.

Minoc will be hosting the “Minoc Loves You” event on the 15th of this month for all those lonely hearts who manage to avoid drinking themselves to death the night before! Red flowers have already started springing up across the city.

RBG Auction returns to their traditional friday night slot.

Orc found beheaded in Skara Brae after visiting a tavern. Eye witnesses reported he was trying to tell the following joke, “Why are fishies so smurt? Because dey are always in schools!” – editors note: this news snippet came from Governor Victor of Minoc – I take no responsibility for the content.

Seizing the opportunity to cause chaos by his filthy hands, Ozog is seeking nominations for his “Pegasus Awards”. You’ll need to speak to him for more details.

Governor Ivy has offered to deliver messages regarding upcoming events across the realm via carrier pigeon to all those who are interested so that they don’t miss any important news. Seek her out to opt in to such messages. (ICQ 1234 98 286)

About Ashlynn

I play with movable type on behalf of the PaxLair Times. I sometimes move the little wooden letters around to create something resembling an article. And I come and go like the wind.
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