PaxLair Press, Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – March 11, 2013 – by Ashlynn – Few know this but fungoids are amongst the largest creatures ever known. Some are greater in size than even dragons and the mighty Titans of Despise. Well until their recent eviction anyway. It is just we do not see it for they dwell mostly beneath the earth. All we see of their presence are the wonderful mushrooms that sprout from the soil. And then go into my soup.
Should these fungal colossals ever become sentient, I fear they would have little trouble overrunning Britannia. And they probably wouldn’t take too well to my consumption of them. Perhaps Exodus may have had more success if he had invested his efforts into mycological servants instead of clockwork ones.
Vulcan’s Lair Discovered
After extensive investigation of Balandar’s research notes, the Royal Guard’s new Lieutenant found that Balandar was already aware of the location of Vulcan’s Lair and the guard was soon dispatched to secure the site a few weeks ago. Unfortunately some sort of barrier of fire prevented any further progress until a way could be found to overcome it.
Several days ago further study of Balandar’s turned up a spell that could be combined with an old artifact known as the Cryosphere (recovered from the ice cavern during the events of Poseidon’s Fury) that would change fire to ice and make passage beyond the barrier a possibility. Naturally such a thing would not be easy to achieve – the reagents were rare and hard to find. The materials listed in the notes were Arctic Dust, Icy Bloodmoss, and a Glacial Black Pearl.
The guard were soon supplied brief descriptions of the kinds of places they could be and then dispatched to retrieve the arcane components.
It did not take long though some of the areas were quite dangerous with terrible beasts or wicked ice spirits lurking nearby. As soon as the components were recovered, the guards returned to Balandar’s old house in Moonglow and gave the materials to Lieutenant Baelgard.
With everything needed now in his possession it is hoped that progress can now be made though I suspect many more dangers await for those on such an expedition.
A Meeting of Mushrooms
Last week’s statehood meeting was held in a fungal palace – a mushroom paradise – in Ilshenar. Specifically it was held in a cave not far from Spirituality moongate where the scent of fungus is strong and where crystal clear waters flow. (I am told you can fish there too!)
In a change of protocol, I was asked to lead the meeting and it was decided at the end that each week someone else would lead as well as choose an appropriate venue. This will hopefully lead to us seeing more of Sosaria than we do of late!
This coming tuesday the meeting will be led by Scabby who may have plans to hold the meeting in a realm of goblins. Sadly.
More News from Nubby
I think this might be regarding things he has been up to of late. Who can ever really know?
Jailbreak of Scarlet Thwarted
Just over a week ago a large band of miscreants believed to be members of Scarlet’s gang (or at least associated with it) attempted to set her free from Trinsic Jail. Word was put about in the various inns and taverns of the land with a time and place whispered in the ears of those deemed criminal or immoral enough to be trusted. Which included me.
It must be said however that I am no criminal but I often rub shoulders with the less palatable members of society and hearing news of this meeting, I decided to go along inconspicuously and see for myself.
It seemed that Scarlet’s chief lackey had a plan – he had forged transfer orders for Scarlet and planned to steal two sets of Trinsic guard uniforms. Two people would then convince the chief jailer that Scarlet was to be transferred into their custody, at which point escape would merely involve leaving the city.
Unfortunately for the brigands, someone had tipped off the Chief Jailer Olof and he was immediately suspicious of the unknown guards. It also did not help matters that attempts to convince Olof of their authenticity were… less than impressive. The attempt failed and it was the fake guards that had to make their escape.
So thanks to an anonymous source and poor acting skills, Scarlet remains behind bars! Where I hope she rots!
In Other News…
Royal Guard volunteers Maintsorc and Shumer were both recently promoted to Sergeant and Private respectively. Others are believed to be up for promotion including Lady Phoenix.
A band of goblins not so recently clobbered a large Scalis just off the coast of Pitmuck Island. Sadly none of them were eaten.
Investigators being sought for the Royal Guard. Must have appropriate qualifications.
Raids against the spirit of Exodus in Ilshenar are ongoing. Check the general chatter and bring your own keys!