News From Across the Realm – Volume 3, Issue 4

PaxLair Press, Chesapeake (PaxLair Times) – February 23, 2013 – by Ashlynn – A young child stopped me in the street a few days ago and asked me a question about dragons. “If a red dragon and a white wyrm have a baby, what colour would it be?” I thought about the question for a moment concluding that obviously it would be pink, and then told the child to go away before I cut his heart out with a hairpin. The little brat promptly departed and I headed home.

But that brings up another question. Why have we never seen a pink dragon?

Prepare to Dye

(In)Famous alchemist Lazulli has opened a Dye Shop at the recently refurbished Shrine of Sobriety yesterday. The range of buildings at the old shrine have been undergoing some modifications for the past few weeks with a restored block house being added to the existing monastic wing next to the tower. A nearby outbuilding has also been infested and modified by goblins which have proven hard to remove.

Lazulli is selling a wide range of dyes in all colours as well as white dye tubs and other dye-related merchandise.

There are also several dye tubs available for public use and all are welcome to make use of the tubs for their personal dying needs.

Harbingers of Pitmuck

Two vicious spirits known as Harbingers attacked the town of Pitmuck a few days ago as a small crowd assembled beside the Pitmuck Deli. What motivated them to visit the island is unknown though some suspect strange yellow crystals may have played a part.

Despite the attack they were quickly dispatched though not without casualties. It would appear the blood of the creatures is a vicious yellow acid that eats through armour and weapons and many discovered this at great personal cost.

Although powerful it appeared the demons carried little of worth and injuries were the only reward for defending the infested island. Afterwards many decided to form a treasure hunting party although I believe other things soon got in the way.

It should be noted that harbinger attacks are increasingly rare in Sosaria and many speculate that the creature’s time has long past.

Mushroom Smugglers Arrested in Tokuno

In the City of Zento mushrooms are highly regulated with only certain approved species being allowed for purchase and use in dishes. Many common brands of Britannia Mushrooms are illegal including the sweet tasting miniature mushroom of Heartwood.

Yesterday a large shipment of miniature mushrooms hidden inside crane statuettes were seized by a Zento magistrate and her band of doshin enforcers. Five smugglers were arrested and have been detained for questioning. My sources in the city tell me that the smugglers have already confessed and face possible execution for such blatant disrespect of Zento law.

To Tame a Hiryu

A few weeks ago Guardian’s Gate held a competition to find the most skilled and resourceful animal tamers of Britannia. On offer was fame, fortune and the opportunity to tell a great story at the next social event.

There were several competitors and even more spectators for those not skilled in the arts of animal taming. The rules of the game were simple – Daria would name a random creature which the competitors would then need to find and return to the Taphouse. First one back would win the round.

Four rounds were held in total and the winners of each round were:

  • Round 1 – Swamp Dragon: Nubby
  • Round 2 – Lava Lizard: Jimmy
  • Round 3 – Desert Ostard: Jimmy
  • Round 4 – Hiryu: James Krieg

The hiryu turned out to be the most difficult of the creatures to tame with the competitors taking quite a while to do so.

Ask Elaina

It seems this week we have a few questions for Elaina! Her replies are forthcoming.

Looking for proper date places. being a goblin I am not romantic, but I do have a liking for a certain goblin gurly. Would it beees okie dokies to takes herz on a visit ob sum ob my favorite peeein stump? Fer a 1st date?goblin lookin fer lub

Mrs Elaina, I am a resident of the City of Umbra and have fallen for a paladin from the City of Luna. Unfortunately I’ve had some difficulty approaching the object of my desire and I have been told it is because I smell of corpses, amongst other things. What can I do?Distressed Umbraen Citizen

Elaina how does  I make proper pixie pie?Anonymous

About Ashlynn

I play with movable type on behalf of the PaxLair Times. I sometimes move the little wooden letters around to create something resembling an article. And I come and go like the wind.
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