PaxLair City - April 13, 2007

Ga'kuct has sorted through his fanmail and has prepared five more questions to be answered. This week's questions delve into the mind of an Orc and tries to discover, what exactly is that smell coming from the sewers below PaxLair?

1) Rumor is the orcs are stirring up trouble, reaction?
-Gak nub gruk nuphyn abud dat. Gak wylz furm a ko-myd-dee tu peep entu dat.
(Gak knows nothing about that. Gak will form a committee to look into it.)

2a) If you could be anything, what would you be?
-Orkie.

2b) Except an orc?
-OOO... Gak wud bi Deemun! Demz ib ebil agh karn agh clomp humiez purdee guud.
(Gak would be a Demon! They are evil and red and can kill humans pretty well.)

3) Can you do something about the smell in the PaxLair City sewers? Maybe the homeless have gone down there? And I see several people going into the sewer system from time to time, particularly the one that is under the Cathedral. I could not see who they were. They seemed to move quickly and silently in shadows. [Submitted by Winfield]
-Gak peepid entu da sewyrz. Dere wud nub humiez dere, clompid ur libben. Gak tak suum ogh da waddur frum dere tu gib tu mojokas. Demz peep weddur dis waddur prugh ebil paliden poyzon ur suum uddir humie mojo.
(Gak looked into the sewers. There was no humans in there, dead or alive. Gak took some of the water from there to give to the mages. They will test into the water, see if it has some sort of evil paladin poison or some other human magic in it.)

4) What does an Orcish Diet typically consist of?
-Ruuk Stu, sumtymz Ilid eerz, ruuk peepir salyd. Orkiez nub eet toephu, lyk humiez
(Horse stew, sometimes Elf ears, horse eye salad. The Orcs dont eat tofu like the humans do)

5) When the Orcs do take over the rest of the realm, what race or class will you eliminate first?
-Ilidz ogh kurze. Demz skurge ogh da uzg. Wud demz poyntee eerz agh demz nubhosh neymz. Ib eberiteeng guz lyk da skeme, demz wylz bi clompid BEFUR da orkiez tak ober da uzg.
(The Elves of course. They are the scourge of the land. What with their pointy ears and their crappy names. If everything goes to plan, they will be killed BEFORE the Orcs take over the land.